I’m terrified of heights and decisions. The mortifying paralysis they induce in my body is equal. In both situations, I am afraid to fall and to fail. My gaze gets glued to my feet, my sweaty palms clinging to rope. I wonder what exactly is holding me up and what will happen if I fall. All the doubt makes it hard to DECIDE. That’s the word for today’s Five Minute Friday writing prompt, a flash mob of creative writing for five challenging minutes. (// indicates start and stop time.)
A Crisis of Choices
//Decisions feels like walking out onto a suspension bridge. Making choices about what to write, which tasks to accomplish, what is most important. Things best done first thing in the morning. As the day wears on, my sureness fades. The more choices I make, the harder it is too choose.
This week was chock full of decisions—so many little ones I could barely put one foot forward into living. Choosing a date for a bridal shower, selecting between attending the kids’ school carnival or a church retreat, picking plants for the garden that needs planting. So many little decisions paralyzing me from making the most important ones like buying plane tickets to Greece or scheduling time to discuss family goals. All the what if’s paralyze me—what if I say the wrong thing? Write something offensive? Mess up my kids? Smother my husband with my neediness?
Accepting the Reality of the Bridge
My friend Ann Kroeker says, “Action creates clarity.” Moving into something and just doing it creates a sense of what’s working and what’s not.// When I’m paralyzed with all the little choices: what to fix for breakfast or which project to tackle first, I’m finding I have to move out into the fear with tiny slippery steps. I’ll probably stumble, get dizzy when I look down, and my legs will shake. The wind gets more fierce as the day stretches forth, and it’s harder to hang on.
I’m realizing it’s good to look back at where the ropes are secured, the steel bolts riveted into the rock behind me. Then I look forward at the incredible view, the goal of living regret-free: bold, adventurous, learning the art of moving through the given and take of swaying and slipping. I’m making the decision to move. I’ll let the bridge do it’s job of holding me up.Tweet This
What decision, great or small, has you paralyzed? What’s holding you up—your family, God, a friend, a dream? Have courage, friend, and step into the sway.
Need a good story to get your feet moving?
- Why Hard Choices Make Us Free
- Being Ready Doesn’t Really Matter
- Flying Into Your Calling, Straight Into The Scary Somewhere