Waiting on Words and Other Advent-worthy Pursuits

I’m breaking from the words which struggle to come. A pause to come back to the free flow of blogging. A hope that writing unhindered will bring about the magic.

Yet I suspect it’s not magic that I need, but patience on the words to work their way through me. One thing I am learning with all of my being: God is in no certain hurry.

I pull at my memories and skills, trying to conjure a polished product from my repertoire of wordsmithing tricks. But I haven’t written what needs to be said yet, and I know this.

Advent, too, is upon me, and I feel it’s pregnant pause. It’s widdling work, gently growing, inch by inch within my heart. What Advent bestows is a hope seed, right in the middle of pain. It says, Anticipate. Percolate. Worry not. Wait. Oh, just wait.

I feel it. This story working in and through me. It’s stretching tight muscles, churning up unresolved pain, and inviting me into a reliance which grates against my fierce independence. I’ve been wanting to tell this story for a long, long while and I will, bit by bit, in whatever form God provides. Already, that form is changing, and so must I.

If I had the emotion to convey, I would. Simply put, I am in need. Of direction and focus, experience and healing. I show up to the words. The routine of lighting a candle and pumping up the playlist plods alongside the doing.

I believe what I am writing will be helpful to someone someday, and with God’s help, transformational. Humbly, I work. Patiently, I wait.

To the outsider, there may seem so much lag time, staring out the window, taking walks, and napping. But this is the pace of a story in process, a work which I am really working on very little. It is working on me.

Despite the best words’ blessed arrival to show up on the page where I want them, I take joy by the hand and listen to her whispers. I will relish what I have been given today.

I trust He is remaking you too, waking you up to a sacred space burning in your chest.

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December 6, 2017
  • And here I was thinking I was the only, but surely I am not. Your words resonated. I for sure was thinking, you were like an ear on the wall of my home hearing my inner grief, groaning, sighs, and wonderings. This life!!! Oiy this life, and yet I’m trusting God to walk me through this muddle. Thank you for these words. You are not alone.

  • Tara Ulrich

    My words are returning! I’m almost surprised at the way they are spilling forth. A guest post at my friends blog, over at the Mudroom plus almost two posts every day in my own space. Things have definitely shifted in my heart and soul. God has redeemed my own brokenness from this last year. Incredible! I’m so thankful!